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August is National Civility Month, an invitation to think about how we speak to one another, navigate difference, and choose to treat people in the ordinary moments of everyday life.

That invitation feels especially timely.

We live in a culture that has gotten increasingly sharp around the edges. Cruelty travels quickly. Public conversations can reward outrage, ridicule, and division. People are too easily reduced to labels, political positions, identities, diagnoses, or circumstances, while the diversity that is fundamental to life as we know it is too often treated as something to fear, diminish, or exclude. 

Meals on Wheels Chesapeake cannot solve all of that. But every weekday, in hundreds of small interactions across our community, we can be a check to the meanness.

For us, civility is more than politeness.¹ It does not mean avoiding difficult conversations or remaining silent in the face of injustice.¹ Genuine civility makes room for difference while insisting on the dignity of the person in front of us.¹ It asks us to listen, communicate respectfully, and recognize one another as fully human.¹

That principle is woven throughout our work.

A volunteer knocks on the door and greets someone by name. A staff member stays on the telephone a little longer because a participant needs someone to listen. A delivery volunteer notices that something does not seem right and alerts our team. Someone remembers a birthday, asks about the dog, delivers groceries or another resource, or simply smiles and says, “It’s good to see you.”

These acts may seem small, but they shape how we feel. Research shows that everyday social interactions contribute to belonging and well-being, and among older adults, more frequent face-to-face interaction is associated with less loneliness.^2,3 Research on home-delivered meals has also found greater reported improvements in loneliness among participants receiving daily deliveries than among those receiving meals only once a week.⁴ The human connection at the door is not incidental to the meal. It is part of what makes the service matter.

Fred Rogers once said, “Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.”

There is something powerful in the idea of love as an active noun. Kindness, respect, inclusion, and community are active, too. They require practice.

At Meals on Wheels Chesapeake, that practice is at the heart of our approach. Nutritious meals matter enormously, but our mission has never ended at the doorstep. Friendly meal delivery, daily wellness checks, social connection, and resource sharing affirm something equally fundamental: you matter, you have not been forgotten, and you belong to this community.

Consider Mary. Mary is 85, widowed, and living with disabilities and health conditions that have put driving, grocery shopping, and cooking out of reach. Her circumstances are deeply personal, but they are not unusual among the people we serve. Nearly 40% of Meals on Wheels Chesapeake participants are widowed, 70% of all participants live alone, and 48% report experiencing loneliness when they enroll.

For Mary, Meals on Wheels provides practical support that helps her remain safely and independently at home. It also provides human connection. As she shared with us recently, “The volunteers become friends. I especially look forward to seeing them each week and miss them when they are away. They are a blessing.”

Her experience reminds us of something easy to overlook when we talk about civility: respect is also about whether we notice one another at all.

It means remembering the person who lives alone. Making time for someone whose world has grown smaller because of age, disability, illness, or loss. Rejecting the idea that independence means managing everything alone. And recognizing that every person remains worthy of connection, dignity, and care.

Our participants represent different races, cultures, abilities, faith traditions, identities, economic circumstances, neighborhoods, histories, and beliefs. So do our volunteers, staff members, donors, partners, and supporters. Community requires diversity and a willingness to recognize one another as human.

National Civility Month asks what kind of community we want to create. At Meals on Wheels Chesapeake, our answer is expressed through ordinary acts and daily rituals: preparing a meal with care, showing up at a door, listening without judgment, noticing when someone needs help, making space for difference, and reminding another person that they matter.

In a culture where meanness can sometimes feel louder than kindness, those choices matter.

The culture around us is shaped, in part, by what each of us chooses to contribute to it.

We choose care.

Further Reading

1. MindOpen Learning Strategies. (2024, August 30). National Civility Month: A time to reflect on civility and its complex role in social justice. https://www.mindopenlearning.com/post/national-civility-month-a-time-to-reflect-on-civility-and-its-complex-role-in-social-justice

2. Sandstrom, G. M., & Dunn, E. W. (2014). Social interactions and well-being: The surprising power of weak ties. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 40(7), 910–922. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167214529799

3. Macdonald, B., Luo, M., & Hülür, G. (2021). Daily social interactions and well-being in older adults: The role of interaction modality. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 38(12), 3566–3589. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075211052536 

4. Thomas, K. S., Akobundu, U., & Dosa, D. (2016). More than a meal? A randomized control trial comparing the effects of home-delivered meals programs on participants’ feelings of loneliness. The Journals of Gerontology: Series B, 71(6), 1049–1058. https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbv111